Now we’re getting somewhere. Last week was a disaster in terms of showing you how to turn $100 into $0. Was nice to win, but I felt like I was letting you all down by actually doing well in the fantasy football leagues.
Lucky for you all, back to back wins on DraftKings was not even a possibility. In terms of my tiny bankroll I did terribly. In terms of showing you a blueprint of what not to do on DraftKings this week was a total success.
You can see I still have a Monday Night Football prayer with Brandon Marshall in a single lineup. Maybe he has the best game of his life and I actually win $2, who knows. I like to dream big.
It’s not hard to tell where I went wrong this week when drafting my lineup. It started out with a quarterback. I felt so good about the quarterback that I chose that I had him on almost every single line up.
How did that work out? Fuck Drew Brees.
How the hell did Marcus Mariota have his way with the Bucs defense and Drew Brees needed a fourth quarter comeback attempt to even register a decent score?
Okay, I’m getting upset over nothing. I’m here to help so Brees has actually done me a favor. I guess when you look at it that way, without him I may have actually won a couple of contests this week. That kind of success would have been hard to come back from. This fantasy football blueprint is about losing ultimately.
So congratulations Drew. Sure, you wrecked my lineups, but you provided some great insight for this week’s results. Week to week in the NFL it’s all about matchups. The same holds true for fantasy football. Just because Mariota sliced up the Bucs defense does not mean, let me repeat that, does not mean the next guy is going to the same thing.
Let this be a lesson to you all. Early in the NFL season it is very difficult to see patterns. For all we know the Bucs may have a top 10 defense by year’s end. After week one that certainly did not look like the case, but there’s a lot of factors that go into that.
It’s almost as if I had never played on DraftKings before and yet I’m a seasoned veteran, just like Drew Brees. By the way I could have taken over 20 different QBs that would have been a better option on Sunday.
The safest pick I made was my boy Julio Jones. He racked up 29.5 points in a big win against the Giants in New York. I was tempted to change him out when I realized this game was outdoors. Good thing I didn’t, I would have made a wall of shame somewhere along the halls of  DraftKings’ headquarters had I not had Jones to boost my points.
See how many factors come into play in this fantasy football nightmare? I’ve got what I believe the best receiver in the League in Jones, and yet I am thinking of him playing outside instead of how dominant he is. It’s football! They should be able to play outside!
I did luck up and grab Julian Edelman on the cheap for $6700 in one lineup. That’s fantasy clearance rack level when you read his stat line that converted into 33.9 points. That’s the type value it takes to win consistently. You can draft high dollar players like Julio Jones and get nice totals, but his price tag at $8900 makes it mandatory that he produce big each week.
While I sling vulgarities at Brees for his lackluster day, I almost missed how he outscored my only other QB choice this week. Sam Bradford had just 10.86 points behind that invisible offensive line of the Eagles. I should have drafted DeMarco Murray while I was at it…..wait, damn it!
I did. There must be a glitch in the DK system though because they show Murray with over 10 fantasy points on a day when he ended the game with two yards rushing!
In an effort to display handcuffing to you all, I wasted $7000 on the Saints’ Brandin Cooks. I figured he would benefit from Brees’ big day against Tampa and I would have a shot in a big money tournament. In fairness to myself, lots of other guys thought Brees would destroy on Sunday also. So I’m not as stupid as it appears.
Maybe I am, but I have company.
As bad as this week went for my tiny bankroll (more like a bank-mini-muffin), I was pleased with a couple guys. Stevie Johnson only cost me $4200 and had 15.5 points.
Tyler Eifert of the Bengals had the same price at $4200, giving me nearly 15 points.
So I went with my gut two weeks in a row on DraftKings. Week one I did well, doubling my cash. Week two I will lose the entire $10 I put up for grabs, unless Marshall has a miracle Monday night.
What about the easy pickings season long league that I am using as a cushion once I lose my $100 DraftKings investment you say?
Well, I will win my matchup there….as long as Chris Ivory scores 38 points on MNF versus the Colts! Not likely since the highest point total for any running back during the first two weeks is 29 points.
And remember how I bragged about having the highest point total among the entire league last week? Right now I have the lowest score of anyone.
Next week’s DraftKings lineup is going to have to feature some help from the experts. I think I will go half gut, half expert opinions. The problem with expert opinions is that there are a ton of them out there.
Let me know how you’ve done this season so far on DraftKings unless your shame is too great. Pride left me long ago so that’s why I don’t mind sharing.