There’s a little-known summit of NFL leadership, led by the wise elder Roger Goodell, that convenes every year or so. At these secret meanings, the NFL’s shadow government decides which players they do and do not like, usually targeting only a few star athletes, and they send their demon zebras after them during every game.

Well, at the most recent convention, the council of elders determined that they specifically hated Washington Redskins cornerback Josh Norman, and they agreed to do everything in their power to single him out and make him suffer.

What other possible explanation could exist for Norman’s $10,000 fine last season for shooting an imaginary bow-and-arrow after his interception versus the Cleveland Browns. After all, New Orleans Saints wide receiver Brandin Cooks has been doing that for the year.

“You’re just picking on one person here,” said Norman. “Cooks has been doing it for years, and now all of a sudden you want to quit and stop it? Why is that?”

Cooks has been doing it for years. Since 2015 to be exact. But the newly-acquired New England Patriots star stopped after the NFL put a ban on the action. Norman did not. But even if Norman had stopped, you know, the council of elders or whatever.

“You can shoot a cannon in a stadium, or you can shoot a musket in a stadium as well,” continued Norman for some reason, making references to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers stadium which fires cannons after each touchdown and the New England Patriots who have a tradition of shooting muskets. “If one of them is bad and looked at as dangerous, how come not all of them are looked at in that way?…When someone shoots an imaginary bow and arrow up in the sky, that’s a penalty?”

Yes, Josh, that’s the rule. Brandin Cooks follows it, that’s why he hasn’t been fined. He stopped, so it might be a little late for you to pick up and claim ownership of the move.

Nonetheless, Norman continued on about how stupid the NFL’s rules are.

“You don’t come back to the locker room and come get a bow-and-arrow and shoot somebody. Like, come on, man, let’s have fun. Let us do something to where we feel excited. We’re not out here shooting someone with a gun. I can understand that. It’s shooting a bow-and-arrow.”

While Norman certainly isn’t wrong, he’s a year too late to the party. Maybe he just likes to hear his own voice. Or because Odell Beckham Jr. had more coverage than him last month he’s trying to catch up.

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