Football

5 Ways for Robert Griffin III to Stay Out of the Headlines

5 Ways for Robert Griffin III to Stay Out of the Headlines

robert griffin iii headline tips nfl 2015Robert Griffin III hit the nail on the head saying, “It’s just unfortunate that my name keeps getting used for headlines, for people to click on stories.” I would totally agree. I get an uneasy feeling every time I see an article about RGIII.

Mr. III was referring to the “firestorm” created when he was quoted as saying he feels he can be “the best quarterback in the League.” I can’t imagine him not seeing that as headline material, no matter the context in which he meant it.

I, unlike the Redskins quarterback, know who’s to blame for those headlines containing Griffin’s name. It’s not the media’s fault that he keeps putting himself out there for ridicule. The disappointing former number two pick is basically writing the headlines himself. He’s a writer’s dream!

I totally understand the guy needs to have confidence in himself. That is a necessity in the NFL. Low confidence in any endeavor will lead to failure, especially in one of the most competitive organizations in the world, the NFL.

Having confidence is one thing. Great, just keep that “best QB in the League” thought to yourself my man. If it stays in that Baylor educated brain then it won’t make it to every sports page on the web, PTI, SportsCenter, and now my keyboard. Keep it to yourself. Then unless the beat writers for the Skins can read your mind, you don’t have to worry about being clowned nationally for saying things that are outrageous and frankly deserve ridicule.

Since III seems to think the media is gunning for him and making stacks of cash through Google Adsense on his “good” name, I am here to help. You all know how I love to guide athletes through trials and tribulations. I see myself as a knucklehead whisperer of sorts and am still trying to get my clueless baller consulting (CBC Inc) practice off the ground. So to help Mr. III keep his name out of national headlines here are 5 simple ways he can avoid such drama. These are very simple steps, but may be difficult to implement for III. I think he knows how to stay low key, but his pride just won’t let that happen.

5. Go the Marshawn Lynch route if you have to. Give the same answer over and over again. That will fulfill your media obligations and annoy the press at the same time. They may think it’s funny for a while, but will soon tire of trying to get blood from a turnip.

I know you think you are too good for this tactic. You believe you can outwit the media. The problem is that there are throngs of them and they don’t get tired as a group. They will keep coming until you slip up and top the “best QB” quote.

4. This may sound crazy, but maybe you could compliment your teammates during interviews. Talk about how much you guys are depending on Alfred Morris to have a great year. Maybe mention how well the offensive line is shaping up to be. Just go against every instinct in your body and do not talk about yourself at all. This will at the very least catch the reporters off guard so they won’t be able to “trick” you into giving them a tasty headline.

3. RGIII, you are a smart guy, so you need to use that big memory bank to store some sports clichés. Lots and lots of clichés. The more mundane and meaningless, the better. If you do this properly, pretty soon reporters will stop asking you questions all together. That is your goal, to bore the beat writers into submission, not leave them salivating for the next inflammatory quote. Here’s a cheap book available on Amazon to help with the clichés.

2. Perhaps you could play well. That would be a great start. Try to avoid aggressive throws that have a history of getting you benched. Avoid running upfield unless absolutely necessary. That may keep you from landing back on the familiar IR list. Your team has this fellow called a punter. He is available to punt the ball over to the other team if you fail to make a first down. Every series is not a life or death situation.

*Warning: If by some miracle you do start playing better, the press will want to talk to you even more. Use all the will power you can muster to avoid bragging in any way.

1. Don’t ever say the words “best” and “quarterback” in the same sentence or paragraph. Actually, just don’t use both those words in the same 24 hour period. We don’t want any reporter to get confused and create a headline that will upset the Griffin family.

Even if you are complimenting Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady, don’t be tempted to use “best quarterback.”

Make us writers earn our money. Writing headlines is a big deal and requires some creativity. Trust me III, no writer was creative enough to call you “the best QB in the League.” You came up with that wild notion and headline all on your own.

Football
@DFSremora

Shane Mclendon is our go to guy for everything NFL and UFC related. He covers pro and college football with as much zeal as his love for UFC. With Shane, we've got you covered...He call himself an NFL nut that enjoys UFC action and a daily fantasy sports expert....at losing.

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