2015: The Year that Was and Could Have Been

2015 the year that was and could have been images

2015 the year that was and could have been imagesWe are finally at the end of a whirlwind year. A year that gave us countless reasons to scratch our heads and wring our hands. We have cried, we have laughed, we have cursed, we have prayed. 2015 was one hell of a time!

I don’t know about you, but my world changed drastically this year. I “left” one job and pursued writing full time, something that I’ve always wanted to do but never really had the guts to be “all in.” Oh, how the universe gives you what you want. It may not always be the method you’d choose, but it happens nonetheless. That particular life change in March became the catalyst for the way in which I live daily. It became the measure by which a lot of things that happen to me and around me are compared. Not having a job was the “unknown” and it was looking me right in the face.

When you are let go from a job, you have no choice but to reevaluate your life. You look at yourself and try to make sense of what now lies before you. In doing so for me, I came to the conclusion that no matter what you give, what you say nor what you show, if you don’t bend to some people’s ideals of what you should be, you lose. You don’t know it yet, but you have lost.

And that is what I feel is happening to our country. Looking back at 2015, we have lost so much and instead of learning from the experiences and doing our damnedest to make sure they don’t become a permanent part of our society, we have allowed our greed and quest for that proverbial piece of pie propel us further into dangerous territories. Thus, like the job I lost, America has lost. But that’s a given. That thing that provides safety, security and freedom has been taken from us all, and it has everything to do with the people we call on to represent us, to protect us, to guide us. It also has to do with what we have allowed.

That’s my reflection of 2015. I cannot tell you how many times I heard stories or watched the news and thought to myself,  we are smart people, we are not third world country folks. We are the greatest country in the world so, “How?” There have been too many damn “Hows” that remain unanswered.

How can we allow Donald Trump to continue his mockery of our political system, holding nothing back by way of his ethics and opinions towards women and other minority groups? The fact that this man could be president, just the thought, leaves me with a hopeless feeling of doom and gloom.

How can we offer forgiveness to a man like Josh Duggar who molested his sisters, cheated on his wife, and used his religion for monetary gains and to tout sympathy for his sick, sadistic, entitled behavior but we prosecute a gay couple and their daughter for being highlighted in a magazine for young women?

How is it that Kim Kardashian and her family can be called “America’s First Family” simply because they monopolize every aspect of our attention for self-indulgent purposes that benefit no one outside of their social group?

How can we allow Kim Davis, a self-righteous, over-zealous dogmatist have even two minutes of fame and yet real heroes go unnoticed every moment of every day?

How can we be upset about the availability of adding a French flag to our social media profiles in the wake of a horrible, violent moment in our global community because other tragedies weren’t afforded that same solidarity? It’s murder period. One is not better than the other.

How can we not be upset that our government operates at the highest levels of criminal activity, in our faces, daily but yet we fight each other and remain divided by red or blue states because of the choices people make with their bodies and their lifestyles?

And how, undoubtedly my biggest consternation, can we allow black boys, and men and women and girls be slaughtered by police, caught on video, facts presented, lies uncovered and there still be no justice? Gun violence, legal and illegal, has become characteristic, and mass murders are the new normal. How?

These are some of the most devastating aspects of our reality and are only the tip of the iceberg. 2015 has made me a cynic. I am a cynic. I question the validity of awards shows and wonder if prayer really works.

Ultimately, the purpose of these reflections is to understand self because we all, in some form or fashion, are a part of the problem. Fix us, fix the world. Right? I have grown a lot in realizing how I deal with situations and people, and the conclusion I have come to is the importance of personal truths.

I am thirty years old. I don’t have all the answers, but I do believe that if we all dealt with ourselves, truly and without reserve, and then turned around and committed our ways to being more selfless, more caring and more aware, we would be better people. Our being better means our worlds are better which means the WORLD is better.

I want better in 2016! Not just for black people (please stop killing us senselessly) but for everyone. I want us to start questioning situations and people and to stop following blindly. Everything is not about getting “put on.” Live in your personal truths and do better than you did in 2015. That’s it.

These are my reflections.