UPDATE 4/20/2016:
So now, Johnny Manzile has given him a makeover hoping that this will change everything and put his NFL career back on track. It’s actually a nameover, and you can read more about it here.
Best landing spot for Johnny Manziel
It’s clear to me that Johnny Manziel will eventually be a superstar. He has the chops to get it done in a big way. The guy just knows how to take it to the next level when the stakes are the highest and the lights the brightest.
There are a lot of doubters out there who think Johnny Football is finished. I am not in that camp. I’ve seen what this young quarterback is capable of and know he’s still destined for greatness.
It’s just a matter of finding the right fit at his next stop. Cleveland was not made for a guy with this much potential. Big fish in a tiny polluted pond.
What Manziel needs is a change of scenery in order to really shine and show off his God given talent.
Sure, we may have to wait out his playing another couple years in a different NFL city. But very soon we’ll get to witness J-Football’s awesomeness on a stage more fitting for a man with his skill set.
And where does such a stage reside?
On the set of a reality TV show of course.
This guy has wasted enough time tossing the old pigskin around and running for his life on the gridiron. It’s about time he got paid to do something he’s really good at, acting a fool on a weekly basis.
Playing the fool for free is, well, foolish. Why put out all that effort making one’s self look idiotic and reckless when you could get a weekly check for the same efforts?
There’s been plenty of reality TV stars with less ability to create drama and chaos who’ve made a good living with their “talents.”
It’s only a matter of finding the perfect show for the former Browns quarterback. If he finds the right fit, he’s sure to become one of the best reality characters ever. A virtual lock for the Reality TV Hall of Freaks.
To help our boy out, here are the shows that would be able to showcase Manziel’s immense talents and give the public a heavy dose of his adventures each week.
No more need for 30-second internet clips. We’ll have 60 minutes of Johnny on primetime TV before the 2018 NFL Draft comes around.
10. Hell’s Kitchen might seem like a strange show for a former Heisman winner to be part of, but it might be just the jolt Manziel needs to get some priorities straight. We don’t want him to get everything in his life together, lest his drama appeal fall off. Just a couple of tirades from Gordon Ramsay should do the trick.
9. Another network would have to revive Cops in order for Johnny to make an appearance on this reality based show. It’s such a natural fit, and that makes it a shame the show’s run ended after 28 years. I’d like to have seen Johnny scrambling around avoiding getting tackled by an out of shape deputy.
8. Catfish? That’s right. This guy catfished his way into the 22nd draft choice overall. Dude went from looking like a great catch in college to a homely, caricature of himself in the pros. Cleveland should have dug deeper before asking this guy out.
7. Love The Profit. I can’t get enough of Marcus Lemonis rolling in to save the day for some wayward business owner. I’d like to see what changes Marcus could make to Manziel Inc. in order to make the guy profitable once again. Maybe just putting in a good word for the quarterback at State Farm Insurance would be the best case scenario at this point.
6. The only fools on TV that seem to create as much drama as Manziel are the Real Housewives of Wherever. Put him in the mix and I can envision lots more wine thrown into others’ faces and many more near violent clashes. Maybe one of those old cougars could even calm Johnny down a bit over time.
5. Big Brother. Cameras everywhere. A few hot women. Sex scenes every other week. Where can Johnny sign up and why has he not been on this show already?
4. Dancing With the Stars. Manziel would have to get onboard pretty quickly while he’s still considered a pseudo star. It won’t be long before people forget his name altogether. But, since Master P and Ian Ziering were allowed on the show I guess the producers are playing fast and loose with the definition of “star” anyway.
3. Party Down South is a bad look for us southern folks. This show is filled with ‘eediots’ who are cast as country simply because they consume gallons of Bud Light on a weekly basis. The cast had less pure talent that the fools of Jersey Shore if you can imagine. The show never failed to deliver on the party aspect though so there’s little doubt J-Football could take it to a whole other level.
2. Intervention is a heartbreaking show if you’ve ever had the chance to check it out. It follows addicts around as they beg, steal, and prostitute themselves to buy drugs before their family gets together and pressures them into seeking treatment. If ever a person needed some letters written telling him they are no longer going to enable his destructive behavior, it’s Johnny Manziel.
1. As for the best reality TV fit for Manziel? You had to see it coming.
Unless there’s a miracle turnaround in 2016. Manziel will go down in history as one of the most disappointing Heisman Trophy winners ever to strike the pose at 20 West Street in Lower Manhattan.
Making the news for all the wrong reasons does not make one a superstar. It just makes you famous. Not much pride to be had in that nowadays.
And from the looks of Johnny in this ball pit, he is well on his way to shedding a ton of weight.