Game of Thrones gave me quite the scare this week as I thought it may be curtains for Margaery Tyrell. That would have been quite a shame. Tommen would have never recovered and I would have been in the same boat. The Red Lady tempted Jon Snow this week with her perfect offerings and gave him an old school lap dance. Snow has a ton of willpower! Tyrion tells Jorah Mormont that his actions were a ‘waste of a good kidnapping” since Tyrion was already headed to see Dany. That’s right, Daenerys Targaryen is the queen that Jorah referred to last week, not Cersei.
The open starts out with Jorah and Tyrion on a stolen boat with the little man still bound and gagged. I would imagine Tyrion wishes he had listened to Varys now and stayed hidden. I don’t think there is any complimentary wine on this boat ride.
We knew from last season that the Lannisters owe more money to the Iron Bank than the USA owes China. So now the bank is wanting one tenth paid back immediately. Cersei knows this is impossible so she sends Margaery’s idiot daddy, Mace Tyrell, to smooth things over with the Iron Bank. I have a feeling Mr. Tyrell is some form of payment and he hasn’t a clue.
Cersei ramps up her partnership with the Sparrows cult when she militarizes them so they can really make a dent in sin. The “Faith Militant” are the armed sect of the Sparrows who now have free reign to use violence on sinners, aka everyone in King’s Landing. They start battering people right away with their new powers and I feared Margaery would fall prey to them. However it was her brother, Ser Loras, who was imprisoned by them at the nudging of Cersei. Being gay is a sin in the eyes of the Sparrows clearly. So now Margaery is without her father (not much help anyway) and her brother.
Margaery is enraged by her brother being thrown in jail so she demands Tommen set him free. To the little king’s credit he goes immediately to his mom to tell her he wants his brother in law set free. Cersei has the excuse that she didn’t imprison him so Tommen must speak to the High Sparrow himself. This goes very poorly as the boy who occupies the Iron Throne is stopped at the steps of the church by the Faith Militant and told that their leader is too busy to speak to him. All Tommen had to do was say two words, “kill them,” and his men would have slain these upstarts who opposed his will. He chose to back down, when he should have went to the WWSD playbook. Stannis would have ordered the slaughter of these religious nuts and never blinked. Tommen is too gentle for his own good and he will not last long as king. That is clear. He also heard the cat calls of “bastard” from the common folk behind him in the streets. It goes without saying that Tommen will not be enjoying his favorite new hobby with his new bride anytime soon after failing to free her bro.
Jon Snow probably didn’t count on all this paperwork when he agreed to take on the leadership role at Castle Black. He is signing letter after letter being fed to him by Sam, the Joan Holloway of this office. Snow even has to request extra men for The Wall from Roose Bolton. Melisandre and her perfect body make their appearance in Jon’s study as she tempts him, apparently wanting to make another shadow baby. Jon stays strong as he is still in love with Ygritte, and he probably doesn’t want to piss off Stannis. I know that Melisandre is a witch, admittedly creepy with the shadow offspring, and likes setting people on fire, but other than that she would make the perfect wife.
There was a rare gentle moment from Stannis as he spoke to his daughter who asked, “Are you ashamed of me father.” That cracked even the iron shell of this serious man. He told her of how she became afflicted by some sorcery as a baby and how he was told she would never live long at all. But he would not accept that so he spared no expense bringing in people from all over the world to save her life.
Sansa and Petyr share some time together as he tells her old stories of her ancestors. He tells Sansa that he must head back to King’s Landing, but she should be fine here. Yeah right. He knows Stannis is coming and Littlefinger is betting on Stannis to wipe out the Boltons. Even if the Boltons somehow win that battle, he tells Sansa she can handle even that horrific scenario. She may have learned from the best when it comes to deception, but being wed to a sociopath like Ramsay Bolton won’t be easy. I see poison in his future if Stannis somehow fails. Or maybe Theon redeems himself by saving Sansa at some point, as far fetched as that seems at this point.
The Jaime and Bronn road trip has Bronn doing all the work. Jaime can’t fight much, nor can he help row the damn boat. The two warriors discuss their best case scenario for dying and nearly find one as they have to fend off four fighters from Dorne. Jaime uses his metal hand to his advantage and kills his first man since losing his hand. The two men’s arrival in Dorne is no secret as Oberyn’s lady has a snitch captain who has spilled the beans and got a spear to the skull for his effort.
Tyrion finds out he is not being taken back to Cersei for slaughter, rather he will be presented to Daenerys as a show of good faith on Jorah’s part. This plan is not the greatest according to Tyrion and tells Jorah that he was already headed to see the Mother of Dragons anyway. I didn’t think this plan had much hope either….until the last scene unfolded.
As we get back to Daenerys, she is talking over old times with Ser Barristan. Dany is headed to listen to more requests at the foot of her throne. She spends way too much time on this stuff and needs to delegate it to someone lower on the totem pole. It’s very suspicious that her lover Daario says Ser Barristan would be wasting his time attending the request session. After all hell breaks loose during the session, it makes it look like Daario could be in with the Sons of the Harpy, who start picking off the Unsullied. Maybe Daario isn’t in with these masked killers, but maybe wants to be the only close adviser to Dany left standing. He is a mercenary after all, and not known for his loyalty.
The Unsullied didn’t fair too well as they were set up by some whores again. The elite warriors were put in no win situations in the back alleys of the city. Grey Worm presented himself very well as he killed plenty of Harpys, even after being wounded. I had been waiting for a while to see the old knight, Ser Barristan, in action. Ever since he dropped his armor in the Iron Throne room and announced he could cut through the remaining knights like a cake, I have wanted to witness this great warrior in battle.
I was not disappointed. The legend lived up to his name as he helped the Unsullied and may have saved Grey Worm’s life. I counted 15 kills by Ser Barristan before he was finally cut down by the overwhelming odds of the Harpy. It appears from next week’s preview that he did indeed die as a knight, just as he proclaimed he would when he left King’s Landing.
If both Grey Worm and Ser Barristan are dead, then that will leave Dany in a very vulnerable spot. She will be left with Daario, whom we don’t even know if she can trust at this point. That does set up an interesting reunion with Jorah. She may find it wise to accept him back into the fold since her options will be limited. I hated it when Jorah was exiled by Dany, with whom he was clearly in love. She will need Jorah, Tyrion, and Varys going forward. I cannot wait for Tyrion to become an advisor to the Mother of Dragons. This season is set up nicely now, so each and every week should be action packed the rest of the way.