BALLERS 107: Dwayne Johnson Can’t Save This Mess

Awful. I don’t know how to be any clearer about this week’s episode of “Ballers.” They could have re-ran most any prior episode. That’s how little happened this week. I could summarize the 30 minutes I sat through in about four sentences, but that would be too kind. I hate to dog a show that could be really good, but I am left little choice when they fill up 30 minutes with the same old stuff. They did toss in a storyline about Jason’s mom dating a young dude. But why should I care about that at all? Jason has been an afterthought who is just there to get Vernon a good deal with Dallas. All of a sudden I’m supposed to be concerned with his mother and her romantic dealings?

Spencer continued his role as the good guy, offering to pay the $150K for Vernon to make the pics go away. Vernon appreciates that, but will never learn his lesson as long as other folks bail him out. Spencer telling Vernon to be smart will go down as the most unused advice in history.

I had hope for Ricky after last week’s interview with Jay Glazer. I thought the show was morphing the wideout into a likable character. Nope. Same old loud mouthed dick this week. He came unglued over his girlfriend’s leaving him and left her a nasty voice mail. Nobody listens to voice mails Ricky, and more importantly, you caused all this! That Bella is super bad btw.

Julie Greane lets Bella know about Ricky’s fun house. She didn’t have a clue of course. Ricky isn’t the only POS on the show. No I don’t mean Reg this time. I’m talking about Angela wanting a sit down with Spencer along with the check for $150,000. She apparently has unfinished business with Spence and if my guess is right, she wants part of her payment in the form of romance with Spencer. Joe and Spencer storm out of the meeting with Maximo, but they will have to give in after what we saw at the end of the show with their boss seeing the pics from his yacht party.

Sitting through a dinner with your mom and her shady young lover must be pretty terrible. I can relate…I had to sit through it playing on my TV screen. I would have taken a dinner scene with Reggie over that meaningless plot. It seemed like more of a chance to have some stunt casting with Marlo Thomas who should share her plastic surgeon with more Hollywood celebs so they can get it done right. This lady looks great, and I was hoping for her real life Donahue to come out and do some family counseling.

The hunt for Bella continued as Ricky searched for his lady. He finally found her in a club dancing with Chris ‘Birdman’ Andersen. This Miami Heat player looks like a real life weirdo and seems kind of annoying so his cameo was a perfect fit for Ballers. There was some pushing and shoving between he and Ricky, and even a pathetic verbal dagger from Ricky about his glee over LeBron going back to Cleveland. That’s the best trash talk an NFL wideout can muster?

Well Charles Greane is going to make an NFL comeback. Spencer is all for it since he believes his boy misses the game. In truth, the big guy probably does need the routine of football to keep him busy and out of trouble with his wife. One more slip up and he will find himself a full time bachelor swimming in nasty pools and likely broke in a few years.

Ricky finished up the episode laying up in his fun house bed with a couple of beauties. That’s how you live a life opposite your terrible daddy! Joe and Spencer’s boss is of course outraged with the photos sent to him showing drug use on his boat, so someone is going to have to make amends next week.

I know comparisons between Ballers and Entourage are all too common. I have done it since the show started. The premise is the same. The formula should work. Ballers is just Entourage in the NFL world. It just isn’t resonating with me, nor with most viewers. The show would work if it were focused more on Spencer and Joe. Ricky just does not do it for me. He’s a bonehead womanizer that I just can’t get behind. Vince from Entourage was a womanizer but I didn’t get the vibe that he was a bad guy. I just don’t like Ricky and I don’t see that changing. The heartfelt interview with Glazer should have been the turning point, but he is who he is….a real dick that I can’t get behind.

Joe is the comic relief of the show. He does what Drama and Turtle did for Entourage. He just needs more screen time along with Julie like I have said before.

Spencer is similar to Eric’s role. He has to manage all the moving parts and try to steer his crew in the right direction. Vernon is a paper thin character that I could not care less about Spencer helping rise to the top and of course there is Ricky. Ricky cannot be the focus of the show. I don’t know if it’s the acting or if the character was just poorly constructed. Surely, Denzel Washington‘s son has enough acting DNA to do a good job so maybe it really is just the character.

There are three episodes left so I will do my best to wade through the muck and find something redeeming in the next three weeks. Pray for me.

For those of you that really want to see a true show about the real NFL, check out Playmakers which ran on ESPN back in 2003 and was yanked after the NFL had some issues with it being a little too real for their tastes. This is what Ballers could have been, but so far is failing miserably.