If you don’t learn anything from me in what was a horrific week nine outing on DraftKings, then there is no hope for you. All you have to do is pay attention to this week’s recap and you will know exactly how to jack up a lineup in head to head matches and how to finish about 90,000 places away from the top score in a GPP.
Don’t do what I do!
I didn’t get to play against some of the bigger sharks in the industry like CONDIA or Peter Jennings as they never accepted my invite for a H2H contest. Scared I guess.
I did line up three players that had a ton of contests open though so that meant they were very good and we’ll get to the results of shark on fish crime.
As you can tell I sucked it up in week nine. I will say in my defense that I had very little time to spend on my lineups this week. I did use Fantasy Labs as it was the last week I would be paying up for that premium service so I could write a review. It just didn’t work out this week.
If I had taken Marcus Mariota, who was the top rated player when I checked Fantasy Labs, maybe things would have worked better this week. Mariota got off against the Saints and was a real bargain on DraftKings. I went with Big Ben who had a decent game but left hurt in the fourth quarter. I feel like he should have stayed in the game….for me if not his teammates. I had a whole dollar on him after all.
Here’s a look at all my contests.
I wagered $10 and lost all but $1.80 of it. So I was negative $8.20 for week nine, not exactly the way to set up a DFS retirement plan.
I fell way back in the GPPs I entered after being in the money into Sunday afternoon. Things turned bad about Sunday night though and byMonday, someone else had my $8 I was supposed to win in those tourneys.
Here’s the lineup that yielded the highest score for me this week. Not enough!
As you can see the entire Bronco’s team let me down by losing to the Colts. The defense failed, and Ronnie Hillman would have had more fantasy points had he never left the team hotel. I think you get two fantasy points for not ordering porn on the hotel TV.
The head to head matches went bad too. I knew that was coming once I decided to pick a fight with three sharks. Jpres429, TheZachAttack3000, leafs93, and cfthomason all whipped my ass. I thought that only three of those four users were DFS sharks but may have been wrong.
Either way I lost to each one and only beat adamlopez00 who has probably cancelled his DraftKings account by now and moved on to a sewing class. Sewing is something that I should consider as well since it’s becoming clear how unskilled I am at daily fantasy football.
Here’s the lineup that got me the sole win this week.
On a positive note, I did slaughter my opponent in my season long league on ESPN. I am now 7-2 and tied for the best record after nine grueling weeks in that league of fellow degenerates.
Before I set my lineups for next week, I will take a few steps to make sure the final week in my ten week DFS blueprint is a success.
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Step one: Watch Pacino’s halftime speech in Any Given Sunday to set the tone.
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Step two: Try to scrounge up $29.99 for PFF Fantasy Gold. I should be able to find it in my truck since it looks like a homeless person resides there now that I have devoted so much time to fantasy sports.
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Step three: 20 minutes of meditation to clear my head of all the narratives of the week that could lead me away from cold hard stats.
So week nine will see me seek out five fresh fish for H2H contests that I actually have a chance at winning. Playing the sharks was a good idea as I thought it would be cool to beat multiple pros. Good plan, bad execution.
I will also go for five more GPP tournaments. Maybe something good will happen in one of those so that I will actually come out ahead for the ten weeks I have been entrenched in DraftKings heaven (or maybe it’s hell). Maybe even a few hundred thousand ahead.
If that happens, don’t worry. I’m going to keep working and covering fantasy sports. I’d eventually have to start back working anyway once I mismanaged the theoretical big money I won off of DraftKings.