The rollercoaster that is Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA) is a steady ride of confusion, disgust and slight… just slight… entertainment on my part. We have seen them argue over weave, the size of hotel rooms and over who is more successful, all while enjoying the beauty landscape that is Puerto Rico. Last night they made it back to Atlanta.
The episode opens up with NeNe getting picked up by her husband Greg AND with Cynthia back home with her husband, Peter, and sister in their kitchen. This scene went back and forth between NeNe and Cynthia, each telling their people what happened while away. It was very interesting to see the their take on the whole situation at the dinner table between Claudia and NeNe with both women, of course, making it seem like “their side” won. The funny part of this mash up was NeNe telling Greg that she told Claudia she needed a new clit. He looked at her shocked for a second and then said, “NaNa popped up a minute… I thought you left her at home?” All NeNe could say as she looked forward was, “Well, I don’t even know where that came from, it just slipped out.” Girlfriend you know exactly where that kind came from. Back at Cynthia’s, she brought up the friend contract that she signed with NeNe. Her sister found it and then Cynthia burned it. Also, and it is apparently where NeNe gets her confidence from, Greg congratulated her on how she handled the situation with Claudia (really Greg) and then said, “You did good, I want to have a parade. I’m gone build you a float. I’m proud of you.” Awww, aint that sweet?
Then we move on to Kandi and Todd visiting their doctor as they are trying to get pregnant. She has off of birth control for a year and there’s still no bun in oven. The doctor tells Kandi to make sure she stays healthy by eating right and keeping her weight at a good number and for Todd, he has to wear boxers so his balls… I mean testicles… can breathe. He also has to limit his alcohol consumption. It is apparent to me that Todd is a little embarrassed. After having to give a specimen to see if his soldiers are at attention, they will wait to hear back to make sure all is okay.
We see Cynthia looking for something to wear to the opening of Peter’s new independent venture in Charlotte, NC called Sports One. They are throwing a party, like they always do, and she is taking a road trip to attend the festivities. She calls up the girls to invite them. Claudia and Kenya agree to join her. And then Kenya’s demanding ass spits out the list of things she has to have which include but are not limited to a have a five star hotel, full hair and makeup and wardrobe. Cynthia shuts that down by saying, “You will be in a Holiday Inn Express, see you in the morning.”
Next up is the bougie Ms. Phaedra. She talks to her mother about the whole situation with Apollo. They have given a date for him to report to prison and she says that she thought it would have been sooner. “I’m shocked it has taken this long.” Wow, such a supporting wife she is. She tells her mom that her main concern is her boys.
Then we see Apollo having a moment with the kids where he reveals to them (and they are so young) that he has gotten in trouble and has to go away. It is heartbreaking to see because his oldest son says that he doesn’t want him to go. Apollo tells him that he will be back soon and his son says that he will come visit him. This scene is defiantly bitter sweet to watch. The boys are so loving to each other and to their father. You can tell that he loves them a lot.
So then we see the ladies, Kenya, Claudia and Cynthia finally get on the road heading to Charlotte. And it’s funny because Cynthia’s ass brings some extra clothes for Claudia (unbeknownst to her) just in case because “it takes more than good looks to get a man.” In the car, Cynthia calls Phaedra to see if she is going to be able to make it. She says that she has a dentist appointment (good one) so she won’t be able to. Then, as Cynthia is telling her who all came, Ms. Kenya hangs the phone up. Obviously it irritated Cynthia. “…Even at 15, Noelle (her daughter) is more mature than Kenya.” Speaking of mature, this chick (Kenya) then moons someone by sticking her ass out the window as they are driving on the highway. She is too turned up and they are still one and a half hours away.
Kandi and Todd find out that his swimmers do swim and they convene with their two daughters Kayla,18 (Todd’s daughter) and Riley, 11 (Kandi’s daughter) who really don’t spend time together apparently, to talk about the possibility of having more children. Kandi wants boys. Me too! She and the fam spend a day gocarting and then, as they come out, a pretty white corvette is brought out to Todd, compliments of Kandi, as a very belated birthday party. Must be nice.
The episode ends with the trio at the opening of the Sports Bar in Charlotte. They arrive super late and Peter is obviously upset with Cynthia. As they go through the stuff that she brought for Claudia to wear, he calls and tells them pretty much to hurry their asses up because the people he wanted her to meet are leaving… “they don’t want to wait four hours waiting on nobody.” Damn right Pete. Who do these girls think they are, Beyoncé?
They finally make it to the spot and he puts her on his arm introducing her to everybody. Claudia then sees Kordell Stewart, former NFL Steelers player and Peter’s business partner. She is pleasantly surprised (well that’s what it looks like) because she knows him from her Los Angeles days and they kind of hit it off. Kenya and Cynthia get wind of it and immediately start drilling Kordell about asking her out and the two doing something together. Claudia makes it clear during her confessions, that she is not interested in part because he is Porsha’s ex-husband. She does, nonetheless give him her number telling him, “Don’t be calling me all late like after 11.” That’ right girl set some boundaries now. I like Claudia. She is the most down to earth “housewife.” Plus after all those gay rumors that keep dogging Kordell, (Porsha even tossed a few blind mentions in last season and his possible love of more testosterone in his partners), maybe Claudia can show that the former footballer doesn’t need a beard after all.
The lack of drama last night was refreshing and shows that RHOA can be entertaining without the fighting, cussing and other unnecessary cattiness. Let’ see if they can keep it up next week.