There’s a ton of recapping to do on Game of Thrones “No One” so I’ll take a break from writing jokes for up-and-coming stand-up star Grey Worm.
Game of Thrones was all over the place this week as season six is nearly over. Just two episodes left folks, and things are moving pretty fast.
Let’s start with The Hound’s slaughter of the dudes who whacked his group of settlers last week. All that wood chopping came in handy when he took his revenge on all but one of the murderous crew. The Hound is really good at killing folks in case you forgot while he was playing nice with Arya all those weeks, then getting toppled by a female knight eventually.
Dude is still a bad-ass.
The Hound didn’t have his way with the yellow cloaked man when he caught up to him. The Brothers Without Banners were already set to hang him and a couple more. Hanging would have to do and the gang of outlaws, including their resurrected leader, asked Sandor to join them. They’re mainly interested in fighting the White Walkers, whose existence is now accepted as a truth all across this world.
Tyrion sees Varys off as they notice the city calming down with the rumors of Dany’s greatness being spread by the Red Priestesses. We see the mutual respect the two men have for each other as Varys leaves.
Is Tyrion making a similar mistake to the one his sister made when it comes to the zealots they reached out to?
The pact made by Tyrion with the slave masters didn’t go well, and their attack on the city ruined one hell of an open mic night with Grey Worm and Missandei getting loose with some decent jokes.
The stoic Unsullied soldier said Missandei’s joke was the “worst he had ever heard,” in an attempt to be funny. Him telling them it was in fact a joke was the part that was hilarious.
I was thinking Yara’s arrival in all those ships was a little quick, but it was the slavers who didn’t think Tyrion’s seven-year plan was all that great after all.
Dany made her big return as she landed on the top of the pyramid on the back of Drogon, although we didn’t see the dragon this time.
Those ships firing on the city will soon be nothing but ash as soon as Drogon takes flight again. That little battle is over. Best believe it.
Was it awesome to see Zombie Mountain pull one of the Faith Militant member’s head off? Oh yeah! More gratifying than I had envisioned.
Cersei’s back and forth with her cousin Lancel over the High Sparrow’s “commands” was epic. Sure, I still hate Cersei, but I love how she won’t bow to these lunatics. “Choosing violence” was the right choice, and it sure backed down Lancel and the rest of the punks who thought they could force Cersei to do anything.
Bad news for Cersei though. Tommen, in all his wisdom, has banned Trials by Combat. The little king got that bill rammed through Congress pretty quickly with the High Sparrow no doubt pulling his strings. Cersei watched in horror from the balcony as her plans to avoid her court date fell apart.
Is Margaery this smart to have completely turned the tide on Cersei? It’s looking that way to me. Margaery may have joined the zealots just to save her own lovely neck, but now I believe she is using her influence to make sure her mother-in-law pays for what she did to the Queen.
What’s the little rumor that Qyburn has found to be true? Maybe it involves wildfire, as we saw in Bran’s visions. Time will tell, and we only have 120 minutes left this season.
The scene at Riverrun is complicated so let me see if I can break it down simply. Jaime allowed Edmure Tully, the nephew of the Blackfish, to enter the castle because he knew how honor would come into play. Tully is the rightful ruler there, and his men do as he says because they have honor themselves. He orders them to lay down their arms and give the castle over peaceably to Jaime.
The Blackfish ends up dead, but Brienne escapes with Pod and Jaime sees her as she’s leaving. The Kingslayer truly likes Brienne and had told her to keep his sword earlier in the episode when they talked about a peaceful solution to the siege.
Jaime showed he knows the rules of the “game” very well in this episode and just how much he loves his sister. She is his only goal.
It seems to me that we’ll eventually see a fight between Jaime and Brienne. With all the love being shown between these two, it has to happen eventually in this jacked up GOT universe where everything good turns to shit.
Now for Arya’s story that could have easily ended for good as she was badly wounded last week.
She got patched up by Lady Crane, who took her acting advice on how to portray Cersei Lannister. That performance brought the crowd to tears….but didn’t help her when the Waif showed up to do her work. Crane was brutally killed, and Arya was on the run once again.
The chase looked to take a toll on Arya, but she wasn’t as badly hurt as the Waif thought. Arya lured her trainer into a dark corridor where Needle lay in wait. She then sliced the candle out with her sword in order to gain the advantage over the more skilled fighter. Her blindness had prepared her for this dark moment, and she ended up defeating the Waif and hanging her face in the Hall of Faces.
She then dropped the mic on Jaqen when she renounced being “no one.”
“A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell, and I am going home,” she boldly told the assassin, whom she could have killed as well right then and there.
Being a Faceless Man would have been pretty cool, but it was taking a little too long anyway. Arya has places to go and people to kill. She doesn’t leave Braavos with nothing, though. She is more deadly than when she arrived.
Look out Cersei if you manage to survive your trial.
It’s a shame the season is nearly over. Yet it’s a treat to watch a show so good that the season flies by each year.
Episode nine has had the biggest impact of the season historically, so get your popcorn ready for next week.
Go ahead and have a work excuse ready for Monday since it may take an extra day to recover from the penultimate episode.