If you were looking for some silver linings from Game of Thrones this week, best look toward next week. Although it may get worse before it gets better, as we have learned all too well over the past four and a half seasons. “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” was a mashup of misery for some characters who ended up at the mercy of Cersei and also Ramsay Bolton. Arya did manage to move forward in her training even though she endured some pretty tough abuse at the hands of her mentor. I don’t remember Mr. Miyagi slapping Danielson around like that.
Arya is tired of cleaning the dead bodies and wants to get to the real training. Once again she gets the spiel about becoming “no one.” Later on she gets to the next level as she performs a mercy killing on a sick little girl. That earns her a trip to the Hall of Faces, which apparently is the “changing room” for all the faces available to Jaqen H’ghar. The bodies are prepared properly in the House of Black and White for later use by the assassin. I’m sure they will go deeper into this premise as Arya continues her training.
Tyrion and Jorah are still slowly making their way toward Daenerys and Tyrion keeps wearing on Jorah’s nerves with all the chatter. He also inadvertently mentions the death of Mormont’s father, who was killed in a mutiny. Jorah is shaken by the news of course, then later tells Tyrion why he is intent on helping Daenerys find her way to the Iron Throne. The story of her living through the fire and the dragons hatching from the flames has shaped his destiny. Tyrion is still not convinced she is ready to rule.
Tyrion and Jorah later get caught by some slavers and luckily survived the encounter…for now. The quick witted little man saved his own skin by convincing the slavers that his dwarf cock would not be valuable unless the “cock merchant” witnessed the dwarf that possessed the cock. Pretty sure this is the first time “cock merchant” has ever been mentioned on television and certainly the first time I have typed the phrase out! Tyrion also told the slavers that Jorah would make a great fighter for the newly opened fighting pits. So they remain alive for the time being, but can’t seem to stay out of danger. First the stone men and now captured by slave peddlers.
Littlefinger returned to King’s Landing to find the place crawling with the Faith Militant. He has his meeting with Cersei and they agree to some shady dealings that would leave Petyr as Ward of the North. This plan is so twisted and reliant upon everything falling just right that it hardly seems plausible. He is counting on Stannis and Roose Bolton battering each other, then the Lannisters swooping in to finish off the victor from that battle. The Wildlings are a wildcard that even Littlefinger isn’t counting on though.
Jaime and Bronn didn’t fare very well after they found Myrcella. She was planning on marrying the prince the next day and dear old dad has swooped in and fucked that all up. Weddings are not all they are cracked up to be on this show, so the young lady may be better off! The Sand Snakes were planning on snatching Myrcella themselves and they end up tangling with Jaime and Bronn. On first watch I was not very impressed with this fight scene, a rarity for GOT. This scene looked more West Side Story than a real fight. It was all too synchronized and there was very little bloodshed. The end result was the royal guard surrounding the Snakes as well as the duo of Bronn and Jaime.
Olenna Tyrell has made her way to King’s Landing to save the day and get her grandson Loras freed from the dungeon. She is not very effective in this quest as things got much worse. Cersei is intent on acting as if she has no control over the fate of Loras. Pretty soon she will realize she has no control over the Faith Militant at all. A mock hearing is set up and Loras denies his gayness, and even Queen Margaery is forced to testify for her brother. Both are deemed liars as a former lover tells of intimate details with Loras. So not only is Loras back in the clink, but the queen herself along with him! The royal guard was ready to pounce as the Faith Militant hauled off their queen, but once again King Tommen fails to protect his new bride. He is apparently not as fond of having her in his bed as he first professed. Each time the royal guard keeps their swords sheathed, this militarized cult becomes stronger and more dangerous. A smirking Cersei Lannister was pretty pleased as all this unfolded. Margaery really underestimated her.
On to the real bad news of this episode. Being thrown in jail is nothing compared to the fate of Sansa. If you had to live the life of one character, hers would have to be the worst of any. Sansa Stark did put that hateful bitch Myranda in her place as she tried to scare Sansa before her wedding night. She mocks Myranda’s love for Ramsay and announces, “I am Sansa Stark of Winterfell. This is my home and you can’t frighten me.” Sansa also refuses to let Theon take her arm as he gives her away, telling him that she cares not if he is punished for not doing as he is told.
I loved Sansa standing up for herself, but she had no chance to do the same against Ramsay. I had prepared myself for the fact that she would lose her virginity to this monster on their wedding night. What happened was worse than I had envisioned. Theon is made to watch as Sansa starts to undress. Keep in mind he watched her raised from childhood as he was part of the Stark family.
Ramsay speeds up the process as he rips the dress off Sansa’s back then basically raped her. She had prepared herself mentally for this horrific wedding night, but having Theon be there in the same room was just some next level sinister shit that no one would expect. Ramsay Bolton may be worse than Joffrey when it’s all said and done. Kid is clearly insane.
Theon has to have a breaking point where he will take revenge on Ramsay. His manhood has been ripped, literally and figuratively, so maybe all he can muster is lighting that distress signal for Sansa. Anything from Greyjoy would be welcome at this point. Light the candle and let Brienne do the heavy lifting! Let us not forget that it was Littlefinger who put Sansa in this position. No matter the big picture plan, he left Sansa in the hands of a sociopathic rapist and woman hunter.