After its short hiatus, ABC’s The Bachelorette returned this week. On it, Jojo and her remaining bachelors jetted off to Uruguay. While away, Jojo winds up having to defend herself against a hurtful story put out about her in a tabloid magazine.
Unlike other contestants who have been sent home, the villainous Chad decides to return to the mansion after being eliminated last episode. Evidently, this takes the other men by surprise, as they had just finished throwing Chad’s leftover protein powder in the air as if it were ashes. Chad’s unexpected return to the house gives the other guys a chance to grill him on what happened during his two-on-one date. Chad tells them that Jojo finds him “too intense or something.” Inevitably, some of the tension between Chad and the other men – especially Jordan and Evan – boils back up to the surface. Fortunately, nothing escalates too far, and Chad decides he has done enough tormenting at the bachelor mansion.
Soon after, Alex arrives back to the mansion, where all of the men give him a very warm welcome. They carry him on top of their shoulders while calling him the “slayer of the dragon” – in clear reference to Chad.
Next, the rose ceremony and cocktail party finally arrives. Jojo and Chase have some fun bonding time, as they play around with giant inflatable bubbles. Unfortunately, some of the other men don’t have quite as enjoyable of a night. Specifically, Daniel and James F., who don’t receive a rose from Jojo (and are sent home).
Jojo and her 11 remaining men pack up and take off to the beach town of Punta del Este, Uruguay.
After the obligatory tour of the contestant’s enviable accommodations, the competition resumed. The first date card reveals that Jordan is going on a one-on-one date with his potential future wife.
Jordan and Jojo go for a ride on a lavish yacht, which takes them to the Isla of Lobos. Here, they seem to have a fun time together as they encounter some local seals. Later in the date, Jojo admits to Jordan that she has talked to one of his exes, and they didn’t say the most favorable things about him. After his initial shock, Jordan finally goes on to explain that he wasn’t “the best boyfriend” before but it had a lot to do with his busy football schedule. This explanation seems to be enough for Jojo as she winds up giving Jordan the date rose.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel the other men [conveniently] discover an InTouch magazine that has a particularly intriguing story about Jojo. Derek reads out the headline to the group, “Jojo Reunites with Ex, and Then Dumps Him for ‘The Bachelorette.’ Jilted Ex-Boyfriend Tells All!” Bachelor Nation may recall that Jojo’s hometown date didn’t go quite as planned during Ben Higgins’ season (the last season of The Bachelor). Jojo was completely caught off guard when she received love letters and roses from her ex-boyfriend, who was hoping to win her back. In the article, the ex claimed that Jojo was never looking for love on the show and simply wanted the fame associated with it.
After returning from her date with Jordan, the show’s producers decide to give her the article that all of the men had been marveling at for the past few hours. Immediately she gets emotional and takes off to the men’s hotel room to defend herself. Through tears, she told the contestants that her ex had “brought [her] to a bad place.” She went on to promise she was in it for the right reasons (i.e. to find a husband). Considering all 11 of the bachelors are desperately vying for her love (and a chance to continue to travel around the world for free), it isn’t all too surprising that they almost immediately seemed convinced that her ex was lying about everything.
The group date card is revealed next, and it names off: Alex, Chase, Derek, Evan, Grant, James T., Luke, Vinny and Wells.
Jojo takes the group of men on a sand surfing date. Unfortunately, their day of activity is cut short when it starts to rain. Thus, they quickly move on to the cocktail portion of the date. During pretty much every one-on-one, Jojo is reassured as each of the men swears they would never believe what was said about her in the tabloid magazine. Derek uses his time with Jojo to express his insecurities, as he feels like he is trailing behind the pack in terms of establishing a connection with the bachelorette. Fortunately for Derek, Jojo ends up giving him the date rose in an attempt to comfort him and show that she is interested in furthering their relationship.
The next one-on-one date is given to Robby, who meets the bachelorette at a local beach town. They spend the day exploring the beach side of Uruguay and “spontaneously” decide to go cliff jumping. During the date, Robby opens up about his childhood best friend who died in a tragic car accident. He tells her that he has really gained a new perspective on life after his friend’s untimely death. While it may be only the 5th episode of the season, this didn’t stop Robby from professing his love to Jojo. He tells her, “Life’s short. I feel like if I were to hide something from you, I’d be lying to you…I’ve loved you since the moment I saw Ben dump you on TV.” Jojo gleams, as she gives Robby the date rose. She confesses to him, “I can’t tell you how much that just meant to me. [It] makes my heart so happy.” Hopefully, Robby’s proclamation of love doesn’t end up being as empty as Ben Higgins’ was.
Lastly, the episode ends off with another rose ceremony. With Chad gone, a new feud inevitably forms and this time it is between Derek, Alex, Chase and Jordan. Derek tries to get the other men to realize that they are acting like a “high school clique,” however the other men basically just laugh at him for being too “sensitive.”
This week the men that received a rose from Jojo were:
Jordan (date rose), Derek (date rose), Robby (date rose), Luke, Chase, Alex, James T., and Wells.
Thus, those who were sent packing included:
Evan, Vinny and Grant.
Catch more Bachelorette next Monday, June 27 on ABC.
Next Week on The Bachelorette:
The 8 remaining men continue to battle it out for Jojo’s love – and of course, a rose!
Now for the most awkward moments from this week’s The Bachelorette:
8. Daniel’s job is changed from “male model” to “Canadian”
When the contestants were announced before the premiere, Daniel’s profession was listed as “male model.” However, we know The Bachelor and The Bachelorette will identify people not necessarily by job but by whatever best describes them. So in this episode, Daniel’s chyron changed from “male model” to “Canadian.” And that’s more fitting. His accent is so thick and his personality is so silly that “Canadian” feels more accurate, even though no one else’s body is on his level.
7. James F.’s cringeworthy poem that got him eliminated
James F. (the F stands for “Forgettable”) read JoJo an embarrassingly bad poem he wrote. JoJo was just like “wow.” Then Alex interrupted them, saving JoJo from having to pretend like James’ poem wasn’t terrible. It was sad, because sharing personal, creative work with your crush runs the risk of painfully crashing and burning, which is what happened to James in a very brutal way. He opened his heart and read his poem, and an hour later he was on a plane back to Nashville. Damn.
6. Uruguay. Uruguay. Uruguay. Uruguay.
The product placements are always awkward, but it seemed like the Uruguay tourism board was paying by the mention. They must have said “Uruguay” 50 times. Uruguay does look beautiful, though.
5. All Chads get thrown under the bus
Between Chad “not Ochocinco” Johnson and her ex-boyfriend Chad Rookstool, who cast a shadow over this episode via gossip magazine article, JoJo has a terrible track record with Chads. “I am so done with Chads,” she said. “I apologize to all the Chads out there who are good men, I just haven’t met one.” Are there any good Chads, though? Chad is the go-to douchebag name. The name Chad needs an image rehabilitation.
4. Robby and JoJo’s “spontaneous” cliff-jump
During Robby and JoJo’s one-on-one, they went cliff-jumping. JoJo gushed that Robby was “spontaneous,” but they were both wearing bathing suits under their clothes, which indicates that this was not at all spontaneous. Which is fine. Nothing wrong with a planned jump. But why put the line about spontaneity in there if it isn’t important and makes the show look dishonest? This season has been all about giving men dates that play to their strengths (Jordan plays football, Grant fights fire) and Robby is a swimmer. Of course they go swimming. Why even bother to act like it wasn’t planned?
3. Alex makes a full heel turn
Chad’s gone, but Alez still needs to be in conflict with somebody. He can’t function without confrontation, because he’s toxic. So this week he set his sights on Derek, who apparently isn’t masculine enough for him because he may have asked JoJo for reassurance. Alex called Derek an “insecure little bitch.” It was way over the top. In pro wrestling, when a good guy turns into a bad guy, he’s said to have made a “heel turn.” Alex started as a good guy, but now that Chad’s gone, he’s The Bachelorette’s heel.
2. Chad’s anticlimactic exit
You would think with all the teasing promos of something really bad happening and all of Chad’s threats of violence that something would have actually happened when he went back to the house to confront the guys, but all that happened was he squeezed Jordan’s hand too hard and got in a sick burn at Evan’s expense when Evan brought up his ripped shirt again (“Are you that broke? I thought you owned d— companies”). For all that huffing and puffing, you wanted to see a house get blown down. But instead he just whistled his way off into the night.
1. The planted magazine
While the guys were getting haircuts in Uruguay (sidebar: now that Vinny’s gone, who will cut the guys’ hair? Does the production hire a hair & makeup professional once there’s an affordable number of contestants remaining?), they “found” a magazine that Vinny “kept” in his “barbershop” that had an article about JoJo getting back together with her ex-boyfriend Chad Rookstool after she wrapped filming on The Bachelor and dumping him when she got The Bachelorette. This became a controversy as the guys thought maybe JoJo wasn’t here for the right reasons and she had to tearfully explain herself. The awkward part here is that The Bachelorette’s producers control the access the participants have to the outside world. They didn’t even bother to hide the fact that they planted the magazines. They forced JoJo to reckon with embarrassing dirty laundry she shouldn’t have had to deal with on camera. It was needlessly, pointlessly cruel to the star of the show. If I were JoJo, I would be furious. The producers showed their hand while stirring up trouble that wasn’t there. It was too UnReal.