This NFL season is now predictable. The Cowboys are for real. The Patriots are the class of the AFC, again. Cleveland can’t buy a win or keep a QB healthy. And Green Bay really is garbage.
Sorry Cheeseheads. It’s so.
No need to wait to talk winners and losers for week 11. Here we go.
NFL Grown Man of the Week: Got to give some love to Jason Pierre-Paul. The man has not been the same player since his unfortunate fireworks accident. But he keeps on grinding. He had his best game on Sunday, ending up with 2.5 sacks. One helped set up a 2nd and 29 that resulted in Jay Cutler throwing an ill-advised pass that got picked to seal the Giants’ win.
Loser: A.J. Green went down with a hamstring injury, putting his status for the rest of the year in real jeopardy according to Ian Rapoport. Lots of fantasy owners are praying for Green at this very moment as their playoffs loom.
Winner: Kirk Cousins, “we do like that!!!!” Beating Green Bay 42-24, with a 20 point 4th quarter was pretty damn impressive. Yes, Green Bay is a shell of their former self, but out-gunning Aaron Rodgers is no easy task. Cousins was the top passer of week 11, excluding MNF which is still ahead. 3 TDs and 375 passing yards.
Loser: Kickers are not really human. They certainly are not athletes. And now that the PATs are actually a challenge, these sub-human life forms are falling apart. 11 PATs were missed on Sunday. I like it, though lots of kickers’ wives are inevitably house shopping in different states as a result.
Winner: Pittsburgh could have beaten Cleveland with Le’Veon Bell tied behind their backs….I think. But they made damn sure anyway and let their horse beat down the Browns to get a much-needed win. Bell had 146 yards on the ground with a TD. Then caught 8 balls for 55 yards. I don’t know if Bell can hold up if he carries the ball 28 times every game, but it may be the best game plan for the Steelers going forward.
Loser: C.J. Prosise was having a helluva run as Seattle’s stud tailback. He brought the house down with a 72-yard TD run versus the Eagles. That was before he got injured and now faces missing the rest of the year. Good thing Thomas Rawls is back to 100 percent for the Seahawks.
Winner: Bobby Wagner helped the Seattle defense keep Philly in check. He leads the NFL in tackles in week 11, with 15 total. Luke Kuechly had 14 versus the Saints before his marbles got loosened with a concussion.
Loser: Browns 0-11. What else can I say about them, that I haven’t mentioned all year? Oh, they got their QB hurt again. Heard that one already too? Cody Kessler left the game with a concussion. That makes 3 times he has left a game with an injury in 2016.
Winner: Russell Wilson made all the highlight reels with his touchdown catch. It was the classic quarterback throwback, and Doug Baldwin made a nice throw. Everything is clicking for Seattle as the regular season winds down. Who in the NFC stands a chance against them in the playoffs? Oh yeah, Dallas, who is not on the regular season schedule for the Hawks by the way.
Loser: The Titans were on a roll before they fell on their face at the worst possible time. Losing to a division foe erases all the good Mariota and company had done over the past few weeks with a good looking offense. They lose the season series 0-2 to Indy. This is how the Colts make the playoffs every single year then get blasted by a real team.
Winner: Tired of Dak Prescott yet? I’m not. He added 3 touchdowns versus Baltimore. This 9th win in a row set a franchise record and continued the magical run of 2016, with Romo watching from the sidelines.
Loser: Congrats Dan Snyder. You are a billionaire, and your Redskins beat Green Bay. But do not ever think it’s OK to dance when cameras are around. Control yourself my man! You’re an owner, not a drunk fan.
Winner: Ryan Tannehill managed to get his Dolphins an improbable win versus L.A. in one of the most boring games in memory. The Rams may be the sole reason for the ratings dip in the entire League. Anyway, Tannehill did throw an amazing pass to DeVante Parker with just 36 seconds left to put them ahead for good.
Loser: You would think tonight’s MNF matchup with Houston and Oakland on tap, would be a suckfest. Isn’t Brock Osweiler the worst starter in the NFL and his team has to be like 3-8 right? Yes to the former, no to the latter. The Texans are somehow 6-3 and alive for a playoff run with Osweiler being the third worst rated passer in the League.