‘The Bachelorette’ 1203 Time bomb Chad’s fuse gets shorter
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Week 3 of The Bachelorette aired on Monday night and this season’s villainous contestant Chad continued to get bashed by the other contenders. In addition, Jojo drags one of the guys on a one-on-one yoga date, which ends with a private concert from country artist Charles Kelley.
The episode opens up with a montage the messy aftermath of the cocktail party that took place the night before. Several of the men blame the disaster on Chad, who apparently doesn’t know how to clean up after himself. Not too long after, host Chris Harrison makes his way into the mansion and presents the first date card of the week. It ends up being a one-on-one card, and Chase is the lucky guy who receives it.
After a week of having no alone time with Jojo, Chase is thrown right into it as they proceed to have a particularly intimate yoga experience together. In confessional, Jojo admits that it felt “awkward,” but that didn’t stop her from sharing a passionate kiss with Chase right in the middle of the studio. Jojo also claims that she already feels connected to Chase – despite only knowing him for literally two weeks. Later in the evening, Jojo and Chase meet up for a romantic dinner, where Jojo says she wants to get to know the more serious side of Chase. They discuss marriage, which ultimately prompts Jojo to give Chase the date rose. After this, they walk into a lit up courtyard and get serenaded by country musician Charles Kelley.
Back at the mansion, Jordan, Grant, Wells, James F., Christian, Ali, Daniel, Vinny. Nick, Even, Alex and Chad find out that they will be going on the group date this week. Unfortunately, Chad once again pisses off his housemates, as he whines about not wanting to go on the unconventional date. Chad’s complaining is particularly irritating for the other men who weren’t given the opportunity to go on any form of date this week. Things end up escalating, as Chad gets in an argument with both Jordan and Alex. After Jordan makes a joke about Chad’s lack of smarts in front of the group, Chad loses it and calls him a “failed 27-year-old football player” – going on to claim that Jordan has done nothing in his life but “throw a piece of leather.”
Inevitably, the guys all get their act together and join Jojo on the group date – including Chad. The group winds up going to the Atwater Village Theatre and attends a “Sex Show,” where strangers reveal their “deepest, darkest sexual secrets.” Of course, Jojo forces all of the contestants to take the stage and open up about their own intimate stories.
For the most part, the men embrace the inherently awkward experience. Evan, who happens to be an Erectile Dysfunction Specialist, decides to use his stage time to bash Chad in front of Jojo and the rest of the audience. He goes on to tell a “cautionary tale” about “the dangers of using steroids.” He ensures that everyone gets the underlying Chad reference by explaining that steroids can cause irritability and a tendency to call women “naggy” – which is precisely what Chad did in the last episode. When Evan returns to his seat, Chad proceeds to nearly rip the shirt off his back, which completely takes Jojo by surprise (obviously not in a good way).
After the theater activity, the group heads to the evening portion of their date. Here, Jordan swoops in and gets the first one-on-one time slot with Jojo. He tries to open up to Jojo and show his more “vulnerable” side. Following a few more one-on-ones, Jojo finally gets a chance to talk with Chad. She immediately brings up his altercation with Evan earlier in the day. She admits to him, “I see so many different sides of you. I hear different things, but then I remember the conversations we’ve had…and they’re nice.” Chad tries to convince Jojo that his aggressiveness was merely an act of defense. However, Jojo does not fall for it. Sure enough, Evan ends up interrupting Chad and Jojo, which evidently doesn’t sit well with Chad. Surprisingly, Evan decides to present Jojo with an ultimatum – telling her that either Chad goes or he goes. Jojo seems torn, as she clearly has some concerns about Chad and his craziness, but she also doesn’t appear to be comfortable with Evan’s take-it-or-leave-it attitude.
Jojo sits back down with all of the men and prepares to hand out the date rose. She announces that she first has to talk to Evan. In the most deceiving way possible, Jojo ends up giving the rose to Evan after he promises her that he won’t leave if she decides to keep Chad around.
When Evan and Jojo return to the group and Evan is seen with the rose in his hands, Chad immediately flips out. He blurts to Jojo, “You’re actually vibin’ this guy?” Jojo tries to calm him down and reprimands his obnoxious behavior in front of the group.
After the eventful day out, the other guys express concern about Chad’s aggressiveness. The show’s production team actually enlists a security guard to hang out at the mansion to supervise and make sure no further altercations occur.
The next day, James T. goes on the second solo date of the week. Him and Jojo head to the Culver Hotel, where they attempt to learn how to swing dance. Although James isn’t too skilled when it comes to dancing, Jojo seems enamored with him. In her confessional she gushes, “his energy and his positivity is so attractive.” Unfortunately, things begin going downhill after their dance lessons, as Jojo admits that she is having a hard time moving past the friendship stage with James. However, James is able to seal the deal and get the date rose after opening up about his personal experience with bullying.
Back at the mansion, Daniel is seen trying to distance himself from his former house BFF Chad. He tells him, “the more I talk to you the more I get dragged down [into] your negativity.” He then tries to make an analogy by comparing Chad to Hitler – which inevitably doesn’t go over well. Humorously, Daniel advises Chad to take it down a few notches by telling him to aim for Donald Trump or George Bush, instead of his current Hitler level of villainous behavior.
In the afternoon before the scheduled rose ceremony, Chris Harrison walks in and announces that instead of a rose ceremony there is going to be a pool party. Shortly after, Evan confronts Chris and explains exactly what has been going on with Chad and the other guys. He reveals that everyone feels unsafe around Chad, which prompts Chris to track Chad down and get his side of the story. Not surprisingly, Chad denies any wrongdoings and blames the hostile group dynamic on the other men – especially Evan. Chris tells Chad that he is going to have to make things right or he will be sent home.
You can catch the second half of this week’s Bachelorette installment tomorrow, June 7 on ABC.
Tomorrow on The Bachelorette:
Jojo eliminates three more contestants, and the Chad saga drags on.
Some of the awkward moments on The Bachelorette 1203
10. Daniel’s sex life sounds wild
Daniel was in fine form this week. While the other guys were uncomfortable and nervous to have to tell sex stories in front of an audience, Daniel loved it, and his story was by far the most graphic and revealing. He told a story about tying a woman up and cutting off a piece of her hair that was so fetish-y and weird that I almost can’t believe that even the little bit we got was on primetime network TV. Daniel’s a freak, and now everyone knows it. I hope his mom’s not watching. Also, I love that Wells’ threesome fart story was only glimpsed and never explained. That’s our second Bachelorette mystery of the season, after “what’s in Santa’s box?”
9. Even Daniel doesn’t want to hang out with Chad anymore
Daniel’s greatest moment this week, though, was his hysterical powwow with Chad about how Chad’s misbehavior reflects poorly on him, Chad’s only friend. He tried to explain his feelings via the world’s worst analogy: “Let’s pretend you’re Hitler. If I’m friends with you –”
“Let’s not pretend I’m Hitler,” Chad indignantly interjects.
“Let’s just say it,” insists Daniel.
“Let’s not say it.”
“Okay, so you’re Donald Trump or something,” Daniel obliges, in a wonderful moment of inadvertent metacommentary, since Chad is incredibly Trump-like. “If I hang out with you, it makes me look bad too, right? So let’s not be so much like Hitler, maybe be more like Mussolini. Or Bush. Let’s take it down a notch.”
Throughout this whole exchange, Chad was munching on a sweet potato like it was an apple. The whole thing was so funny I had to stop watching and tell my colleague what was happening to try and share the moment with her. God bless Daniel. He’s so magnificently dumb.
8. The security guards don’t look like they’d be able to handle Chad
The show hired security guards to keep the peace with Chad in the house — which seems either like overkill or a lot more work than just booting him off the show, but hey, it’s not my money — an awkward move in and of itself. But the security guards they hired are old and out-of-shape, especially compared to Chad, a 28-year-old former Marine, who lifts weights like he’s in a prison yard. Unless they’re armed, they won’t be able to stop Chad if he goes full Rambo. And it will be incredibly awkward to watch them try if it comes to that.
7. Chad doesn’t want to go on the group date
When Chad found out he was going on the group date, he had a very honest reaction, saying, “Honestly, I don’t even wanna go. I’d rather you guys go, do your thing, and just get a one-on-one later.” The other guys surely think this, but Chad says it, in breach of Bachelorette decorum, which is that you act grateful for every moment you get to spend in JoJo’s presence. But Chad isn’t playing by the rules, and that infuriates the other guys. They want Chad to face consequences for his actions, but like Trump, normal consequences don’t apply. But the other guys try to cut Chad down by insulting him. “Whatever team Chad’s on, let’s hope it’s a bench press competition, not a spelling contest.” Jordan cracks. “You’re a 27-year-old failed football player,” Chad snaps back. “You’ve done nothing with your life other than throw a piece of leather.” Chad tells Evan to stop talking, foreshadowing their later confrontation. It comes to a head when Chad asks Alex if he wants to stop outside. “Boy, this is awkward,” somebody says. “That escalated quickly,” somebody else says, an Anchorman reference that underscores that this is a house full of bros.
6. Evan and Chad will never apologize
After the shirt-ripping incident, which we’ll get to a little later, Evan confronted Chad while a group of guys were sitting all around them by asking if he can talk to him. Chad, clearly expecting an apology from Evan for badmouthing him, was like “Whatever, bro.” To his surprise, Evan asked “Why are you here?” implying that Chad is Here For The Wrong Reasons And Not Here For JoJo. Chad could’t believe it. Evan continued to come at him, saying “You owe me an apology and a shirt,” which was a pretty funny line. Then Chad got really real, dropping what sounds to me like a warning:
“You’re ridiculous, man. You’re trying to bully me or something. Leave me alone. I don’t have a problem with you, just stay away. Do your own thing. Leave me alone, man. Stop talking about me. Stop trying to bump into me. Stop trying to work out when I’m working out. Stop trying to cook when I’m cooking. Just stay away.”
Chad implied that Evan hates him because he wants to be like him, and Chad is not flattered and will not teach him his ways. Then Grant said, “I’m going to do my own thing” and got up and walked away. That cued the rest of the guys to exit the horribly tense moment, too, leaving Evan and Vinny to sit there like a couple of chumps. Later Chad observed that Grant looks like Handsome Squidward, retroactively beating the internet to the joke.
5. The yoga date
Okay, let’s break from Chad for a minute. One of this episode’s two one-on-ones was between JoJo and Chase, who is emerging as a possible runner-up to Jordan. Maybe he’ll be the next Bachelor. They went on a hot yoga date, during which several awkward things happened. The instructor asked, pretty much by way of introduction, “How long have you guys been intimate?” After a long pause, JoJo said, “Never? We met about a week ago.” The most awkward part of that is asking “How long have you been intimate?” Maybe that’s how you ask relationship status in yoga teacher world, which is populated by people who know how to align chakras but not how to talk without sounding like it’s always Woodstock where they are. Then she instructed JoJo and Chase to have an “angergasm” by screaming and kicking their feet like they’re having a temper tantrum. Then JoJo and Chase got into a pose where she was straddling him and they were looking into each other’s eyes. Then they started making out. It was too intimate. I felt like I shouldn’t be watching.
4. Evan’s ultimatum
Evan took JoJo aside and gave her an ultimatum: either Chad goes or I go. But he forgot a crucial rule of ultimatums, which is that you only make them from a position of strength. Evan seems to think JoJo has to make a decision about this, but she doesn’t owe him anything at all. She could (and should) send them both home and never think of either of them ever again. But instead, she gave him a rose and didn’t send Chad home, therefore revealing Evan’s ultimatum to be empty. If he meant it, he would have rejected the rose and quit the show. Instead he just made out with her a little bit and said he did it…
To be continued with Tuesday’s The Bachlorette…
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