‘The Bachelorette’ 1202 Pulling hose on Brandon, James S and Will
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Jojo Fletcher’s journey as the Season 12 bachelorette continued as Week 2 of ABC’s The Bachelorette aired. In last week’s premiere episode, Jojo had narrowed it down to the final 20 contestants. During this week’s installment, 10 of the men went on a group date. Meanwhile, Jojo invited 6 other of the contenders to a slightly more intimate group date at ESPN’s “SportsNation.”
After a few shots of Jojo doing the obligatory gaze into the distance on her balcony, the show kicks off with Chris Harrison visiting the bachelor mansion. He delivers this week’s first date card, which lists off 10 of the men who are going on a group date. Shortly after, a limo pulls up to the mansion. In a surprising twist, it spontaneously bursts into flame. Right behind it, Jojo arrives in a fire truck and proceeds to help a team of firefighters put out the flame-engulfed limo.
After her big entrance, Jojo brings the men to an open lot where they participate in various physically demanding drills. While lots of the contestants are well equipped to handle the strenuous activity, Wells the DJ admits that he is not quite the Hercules-type like some of his counterparts. Nonetheless, Wells actually winds up landing a place in the final three, as the men compete for some extra time with Jojo. However, in the end, Grant (who is conveniently a professional firefighter) wins the group date competition.
Although Grant came out on top during the daytime activities, it was Luke who seemingly won the night. During the evening gathering, Luke and Jojo end up sharing a passionate kiss. However, it was Wells who was given the group date rose – most likely because Jojo realized that the firefighter gear she made him wear for the majority of the day probably weighed more than him.
The next day, Derek joins Jojo for the season’s first one-on-one date. The duo fly out to San Francisco and enjoy a romantic picnic lunch by the Golden Gate Bridge. Derek and Jojo mainly talk about their past relationships, which evidently didn’t end so well. They share a kiss and Jojo gives him the date rose. While they have a nice time, there isn’t any notable spark between the two of them.
Shortly after, 6 more of the men are informed that they will be going on the next group date. Contestants Alex, Chad, Jordan, Christian, Nick and James T. are brought to the ESPN “SportsNation” set, where they meet with Jojo and ESPN hosts Max Kellerman and Marcellus Wiley. The men compete in a series of activities, including showcasing their best touchdown dances. Unfortunately, Chad lands himself in some hot water when he calls Jojo “naggy” during a challenge where he has to pretend to propose to her (after twirling his head around on a baseball bat 10 times). Inevitably, the other men begin bashing Chad amongst themselves and pretty much secure Chad’s place as the season’s villain.
After their ESPN experience, the men join Jojo for the evening portion of the date. While Chad didn’t do too well earlier in the day, he manages to get himself in the bachelorette’s good graces once again by opening up to her about his past relationships. Chad confesses that he hasn’t been in a serious relationship for several years and is still coping with the loss of his mother 6 months ago. Together, Jojo and Chad toss a coin into a nearby wishing well and share their first kiss.
Despite Chad’s ability to turn the date around, Jojo still opted to give James T. the group date rose. Jojo explains that while it helps that James won the ESPN challenges, he also seems like a good guy that she wants to get to know better.
Near the end of the episode, the men gather for the weekly cocktail party. Chad continues to rub his fellow contestants the wrong way, as he repeatedly interrupts them in order to talk with Jojo While the guys try to confront Chad about his behavior, they fail to get through to him. Chad compares their failed attempt at confrontation to “…the Care Bears [surrounding you] and telling [you] they [are] going to kick your ass.”
After Chad interrupts Evan’s quality time with Jojo, fellow contestant Alex is triggered to have a go at Chad. Alex confronts Chad, who quickly responds by telling Alex that he will knock his “damn teeth out” if he continues to come at him. Alex attempts to stand his ground, but unfortunately falls short in the insult/comeback department.
Finally, the rose ceremony for the week commences.
Those that Jojo gave a rose (and kept around for another week) include:
Alex, Christian, Robby, Luke, Chase, Jordan, Grant, Ali, Daniel, James F., Nick Vinny, Evan and Chad, as well as Derek, Wells and James T. (who were given roses earlier in the episode).
Thus, the men Jojo sent home include:
Brandon, James S. and Will.
Catch week 3 of The Bachelorette next Monday, June 6 when it airs on ABC.
Some of the more awkward moments on “The Bachelorette” 1202
8. Chad’s truly incomprehensible protein shake analogy
I’m going to transcribe it here, because this little speech is a thing of insane beauty: “If you were making a protein shake made of the group of dudes here, and then, you know, blended it up, half of that dude protein shake would be, like, have zero chance.” Haha, whaaaaat? Do you think a producer fed Chad the line and then he forgot it, and the blown take made it into the show to make him look stupid? Because Chad is a lot of things, but he doesn’t seem as stupid as this moment makes him out to be. Poor Daniel, though, really does appear to be that stupid. The fact that he gets along so well with Chad reflects poorly on him.
7.“Last time I pulled hose like that was probably back home when I was at my apartment”
Oh, Daniel, don’t talk; just flex. Speaking is not your strong suit. If I hear you make a “that’s what she said” joke, I’m reporting you to immigration.
6. Wells being rewarded for his failure
Skinny, Orlando Bloom-like Wells was completely out of his element in the firefighting challenge, which required strength and endurance radio DJs don’t need as part of their day-to-day operations. I mean, he was competing against an actual firefighter. It was so physically overwhelming for him that he had to lie down, because he was white as a sheet and about to pass out. As if that wasn’t humiliating enough, everyone was nice about it, like “you all right, bro?” They started to view him as something like a kid, not a competitor. JoJo came over and sat with him as he recovered, which actually bought him some unexpected one-on-one time, much to the chagrin of the other guys who were showing off how strong they are. He didn’t give up though, and jumped back in. He didn’t win, but he still got a group date rose for his persistence. It felt like a certificate of participation, though. Pity roses are against the brutal nature of the show, even for good guys like Wells. He’ll never feel like he earned it.
5. The corny victory dances
The only fun thing that Chad actually participated in was the ESPN challenge where the guys had to come up with a touchdown celebration dance. Everyone’s dances were terribly embarrassing, even Jordan Rodgers, who should do better, because he’s scored touchdowns before. But he, along with Christian, went for a modified “Gangnam Style” horse dance. Nick did a silly thing where he pretended to be in a the shower. Chad did a cartwheel and picked JoJo up. “Very good, you are all very embarrassing,” said ESPN host Max Kellerman, putting a button on the moment.
4. Chad’s douchebag workout plan
Chad hung his suitcase — which was, of course, full of protein powder and supplements — from his waist and did shirtless pull-ups from the support beam of the porch. It was such an over-the-top performance of alpha male cockiness that it bordered on self-parody. The guys inside the house who saw him started hilariously busting on him. “It’s a gift from above” to see such a vulgar display of power, James S. said sardonically. Someone, I think it was Jordan, said, “We’ve found a rare meathead in the wild” in a Crocodile Hunter voice. It’s secondhand embarrassing to see someone so un-self-aware.
3. Chad calling JoJo “naggy”
Chad, seriously, are you an idiot? For someone who seems so certain he knows what JoJo wants, he’s pretty clueless about how to talk to her. “Naggy” is a word you avoid when talking to a woman if you don’t want her to hate you. Everyone knows that.
2. Chad eating literally all the food in the entire house
Chad had skipped his protein shake to free up calories for the spread at the cocktail party, and he went into beast mode on the hors d’oeuvres. His feeding frenzy was so excessive that it began to seem like he’s only on the show for the free food. The other guys continued to make fun of him during their confessionals, which were the funniest moments of the night. “When you miss a meal and you look like that, it’s detrimental to your progress,” said James S. “At least that’s what I’ve heard from him. I wouldn’t know.” I’m going to miss James S.’s droll sense of humor. “He would take an IV of meat if he could get one,” said Luke. “Chad has taken the term meathead to a whole unparalleled level,” said Grant. Chad was even munching on meat during the rose ceremony.
1. Ali getting caught in the middle of Chad and Alex’s gorilla fight
Ali barely appeared this week except for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was standing outside, talking with Chad, when Alex came over to confront him about being a JoJo-hog and a bad person. Ali, who seems like a chill, quiet, nonconfrontational dude, just kind of stood there while Chad and Alex almost came to blows. Would he have tried to break up the fight if it had happened! Guys, don’t put Ali in this position! He just wants to play piano, have beautiful eyebrows and mind his own business!
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