Episode 3 of “Bachelor in Paradise“ picks up right where it left off last week. The Bachelor and Bachelorettes congratulate themselves for making it another week.
However, not everyone is so cheery as Lauren starts breaking down and tells her sister Ashley I. that she wants to leave. Lauren explains “I’m sweaty, I’m hot and I am sick of being around people all the time.” Well Lauren, I don’t know what Bachelor in Paradise you were watching last season, but this is kind of what you signed up for.
Ashley tries to talk her sister into staying and start enjoying her self. Eventually, Lauren agrees to stay in hopes of Joshua from Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season showing up the following day.
The Lauren drama doesn’t stop there though. She spills that she has a man back home who she is “crazing in love with,” but “wouldn’t call him [her] boyfriend.” According to Lauren, the guy also is already involved with another girl. For a girl who gets so upset being a second-choice, it is quite surprising she chooses to be one back home.
Anyways, the new additions finally arrive to paradise and the two men to join the Paradise crew are Joe and (surprise, surprise) Joshua, both from Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season.
Right when they get there, Ashley pulls Joshua away and tells him that the whole reason her sister came to Paradise was to meet him.
Following this, Lauren makes her move on Joshua and asks him if he likes “aggressive girls”. Apparently this is how Lauren starts conversations when she is “nervous.” Unfortunately, her conversation isn’t all too captivating and Tenley swoops in and steals Josh away.
JJ, who gave Tenley his rose in the last ceremony, is upset when he sees Tenley and Josh going off to talk. This is when we get the first real look at frat-boy JJ, who throws a swirl of insults about Josh to the one-on-one cameras.
(Note: Josh and JJ already didn’t like each other too much when they were on the Kaitlyn’s season of The Bachelorette).
Eventually Josh who came to Paradise with a date card, asks Tenley to join him. JJ catches wind of this and assures the other guys that he isn’t threatened as giving Josh a date card is like “giving nuclear codes to an insane asylum.”
Lauren sticks to her word and despite Ashley’s begging, she packs her things and leaves paradise. However, it doesn’t seem like any of the other people really care.
Unfortunately, while all of this is happening, Joe is making an incredibly bad first impression. It isn’t his entire fault since all of guys have been hyping him, saying he is “incredibly funny,” but when he arrives he is boring, off-putting and relatively rude (he called out Clare for being on the show 3 times, although it was an easy dig).
Clare did not take this dig lightly and ends up talking to a raccoon. Yes, you read that right. She tells the raccoon that it’s her “only friend,” as she feels yet again she’s not making a connection with anyone.
In the meantime, Joe is somewhat trying to find someone to share his date card with. He basically just states to the group that he needs someone to go horseback riding and Juelia decides to take the plunge and volunteers to go. Jonathan is not too happy with her, and jokes that Joe should fall off the horse and breaks his legs. However, his wish was oddly specific and repeated, so I have to speculate that he actually wanted it to happen.
When Tenley and Josh return from their date, JJ right away tries to claim his woman and has a quick make out session with her, however as soon as he goes to sleep she is back in Joshua’s half-naked arms.
Joe and Juelia get back from their date and right away everyone notices that Juelia is infinitely happier about it than Joe.
Juelia decides to end her previous fling with Jonathan, as she is clearly infatuated with Joe. Meanwhile, as Juelia is off telling everyone how “genuine” Joe is, Joe is shown having a conversation with a producer questioning Juelia’s intelligence and saying that kissing her “wasn’t good.”
Meanwhile, Clare and Jared begin getting close as they connect around the fire pit on the beach. Jared is given the next date card and to Ashley I.’s surprise, he asks Claire. Ashley is shocked, claiming that Clare (who is 34)’s “eggs are almost dead,” and is much too old for Jared. At the same time, Mikey gets mad at Clare, whom he thought was relatively committed to being with him (once again he has been ignoring all of her clear hints that she is not into him).
The episode ends how it began: in tears.
The crying this time around is coming from Clare, Mikey and Ashley I.
Watch what happens next tomorrow night at 8pm on ABC.